As a child, I think one of the most memorable events to some
(and traumatizing to others) is the picking of teams in PE class or on the
playground. There is a sort of hierarchy that develops during this event that
puts you in your place quickly. There are those who are chosen first every
time. Everyone knows that those individuals excel at the sport that is being
played in one aspect or another. They are great hitters, kickers, or catchers
and everyone wants them on their team. Then, there are those who are chosen in
the middle. These kids are not necessarily the most popular and do an adequate
job playing the sport. Then, you have those who are always picked last. These
are the kids who, for whatever reason, are not very popular and/or not
athletic. Even before the selection process begins, everyone knows who belongs
in each category. It is not really discussed, it is just known.
This process is something that I experienced frequently. I
was one of those “in the middle” kids. I was never the captain and I was not
chosen in the top five, but I also knew I wouldn’t be picked last. That is not because I didn’t want to be
picked in the top five, because I did. I found myself striving to do a better
job so that, next time, I would be picked sooner. I remember a time when I was
in elementary school where we were picking teams for soccer. The PE coach had
chosen the captains for the teams and the captains were choosing kids to be on
their teams. I remember wishing so hard that I would be the first one picked on
the team. When I was not, I determined that I would go home and practice soccer
in my backyard every day after school so that I could be picked first. I think
that this has led me to work hard in all aspects of my adult life so that I am
not considered an average employee, mother, wife, etc… Even though I am not being picked for teams
on the playground anymore, I continue to feel the need to be better than
average. I still feel confident that I will not be last in my field, but I will
always try to be in the top five.
Another memorable experience for me was my first year
teaching. It was 1993, I was 21 years old and I had been hired to teach Spanish
1. Although I had been in front of
classes before during my internship, this was different. I was actually the one
in charge…making plans and enforcing the rules. I made my own lesson plans,
presented them how I wanted to, decorated my own room, made tests, etc... When
the students entered the room for the first time, I was so nervous I wanted to
throw up. I was trying to be sure that I did everything “right”. The first week
was the hardest because everyone was getting used to each other. I soon fell
into a routine and figured out what worked for me and my students. I quickly
found out there was not a right way to do it. The experience of your first year
of teaching is not anything that school can prepare you for. Only on the job
experience will give you the true definition of being a teacher. This
experience has given me the confidence to be a leader. It has allowed me to see
that I can effectively make smart decisions and successfully lead a group of
people through the trials and tribulations of Spanish 1. Being a teacher has
given me confidence in many other areas of my life as well. I am no longer
worried about being assertive and taking charge when there is a need, I just do
it. Although it is one of the toughest jobs I have had, I think teaching has better
prepared me for life.
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